Title: Don’t Think Twice (It’s All Right)
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: R / ~8,350
Summary: Sometimes you just wanna write a bog-standard cabin!fic, you know?

Many thanks to heavenorspace who supplied the porny bits.

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It’s a four-hour drive up into nowhere and Chris spends most of it listening to Darren live blog whatever comes up on his exceedingly eclectic Spotify playlist. He doesn’t mind; Darren’s chatter is as comforting as the tires of Chris’ SUV against the salted pavement and the warmth of the blankets piled up in the back and the scent of the bagels they had for breakfast on the road.

Early mornings in the car with Darren are a special kind of sanctuary.
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Title: Frame-Up: Expertise, Quality & Great Design
Pairing: Kurt/Blaine
Rating/Length: G / ~2,250
Summary: Kurt is a high school student in Lima working a part-time job at framing store in the local mall, counting the hours until he graduates and gets the hell out of town, when Blaine comes in with a slightly embarrassing photo to frame.

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Kurt really doesn’t care much about the fine art of picture framing, despite his current part-time job at Frame-Up, the framing store in the middle of the Lima Mall. And he doesn’t particularly care about the fine art that goes into the frames either. Sometimes it’s fine art, other times it’s $10 prints of celebrities, movie posters, or terrible vacation photos he has to pretend are masterpieces for his overly proud clients.
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Title: The Neighbor, Or, Another Meg Ryan Rom-Com
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: ~5,800 / G
Summary: Darren doesn’t bake, or, that time he had to ask his previously unseen neighbor for help and a cup of sugar.

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Darren doesn’t bake.

He’s got his talents, maybe more than his fair share, but baking isn’t one of them. Flour, eggs, and sugar rarely come together for him in anything but a mess. Two months ago, he tried to make a cookie in a mug to satisfy a vicious bout of late-night munchies without leaving his apartment, and his microwave ended up coated in burnt butter and chocolate. It doesn’t seem right that his dad is chef and he can’t even attempt lemon bars without getting lemon juice in his eyes and powdered sugar all over the floor.

He knows it’s just chemistry, but he wasn’t very good at that either.
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Title: Until I Wake Up
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: ~1300 / PG
Summary: Darren can’t quite remember what he did for Halloween, but Chris can.

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When Darren wakes up, his mouth tastes like dirty socks, his head feels like it’s clamped tight in a vice, and his entire body hurts. Hungover then. He blinks sawdust from his eyes and tries to sit up, only to end up groaning loudly as every vertebra in his back pops and cracks and realigns under protest.
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Title: Stuffed
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: who cares
Summary: I mean, it’s Thanksgiving, so…

“So who knocked you up?” Chris asks casually, staring again at the photo that popped up on his phone just five minutes ago. It had taken him that long to excuse himself from his chattering family and turn on his laptop in the privacy of a spare bedroom.

On the screen, Darren grins into the camera. “Considering I look about 10 weeks along…I’m gonna say it was you.”
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Title: Ghostlight
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: G / 5,100
Summary: Darren is a fairly successful actor currently staring in Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Broadway. One night, after a show, all alone on the stage, he turns off the ghost light. What happens next changes his perspective and more.

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It doesn’t actually take that long for Darren to get cleaned up after a show. By “Wicked Little Town” most of his make up is lost to sweat and costume changes, and by curtain call he’s down to little black shorts and sneakers. It’s quick and easy to jump into the shower and rinse the last of the paint and glitter and sweat from his skin. It takes far, far longer to make him look like Hedwig Robinson than it does to make him look like himself again.
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Title: Return (Me) To Sender
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: G / ~2,800
Summary: Based on this old Tumblr post.

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Chris almost doesn’t even check the mail that day. It’s a frigid and dreary day of dark grey skies and freezing rain. The weather is no real excuse not to at least put his slippers on and shuffle downstairs to the lobby to get his mail, but he doesn’t want to. The poor mail carrier has to trudge through this miserable winter day; all Chris has to do is get on an elevator.
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Title: Five Dreams and Something Else
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: 500 / G
Summary: Read the title

Some nights Chris dreams.

“I have a girlfriend,” he says.

And it all makes sense. Every awkward pause. Every aborted touch. Every almost kiss. Chris blinks and the last three months shake apart like a dry sandcastle, held together with a whisper and trembling hands.

He tries to rewind the tape; replays the days and nights searching for all the things he must have missed, and comes up with a list that adds up to nothing. A pause can be a breath. An almost touch nervous hesitance of something new. A withdrawn kiss a sign of respect towards boundaries that cannot be uncrossed.

Or not. It is the unasked question answered.

“Oh,” Chris says, and carries on like he didn’t just realize he’d been building the castle alone.
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Title: Elevator Pitch
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: G / ~1,700

el·e·va·tor pitch
noun, informal
a succinct and persuasive sales pitch.


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His name is Chris, he has a dog, and he lives on the 8th floor. He owns a lot of button-down shirts, sometimes wear dark-framed glasses, and does not like it when it rains. These are the things Darren knows about him.

Chris walks his dog often, he owns multiple pairs of Converse (red, black, and blue), and he does not have a paper subscription to the New York Times. These are other things Darren knows about him.
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Title: Skål
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: 2,230 / PG
Summary: Born of this anon ask I got a few weeks ago. This probably isn’t what they were hoping for.

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Rum & Coke

Chris is 19 and does not care that he’s teased mercilessly for his drink of choice. He didn’t grow up in a house that gave out sips of wine at holiday dinners and he’s always had something of a sweet tooth. Coke with a little splash of rum is the perfect way to take in alcohol without really tasting it, which, at this point in his life, is all he wants.
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Title: Departure
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: PG / ~4,000 (total)
Summary: A meeting on an airplane in three parts.

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Part 1 - Departure

The seat is bigger than Chris anticipated, and feels more like a some lawyer’s overstuffed business chair than anything on an airplane.

Chris finds his seat belt and watches the other passengers shuffle slowly, despondently towards coach. Normally he’d be shuffling along with them to the cheap seats in the back, but not this morning. This morning he’s up front.
Part 1 - Departure )

Part 2 - Layover )

Part 3 - Arrival )
Title: Signature Challenge
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: G / >1000
Summary: I’ve been watching a lot of Bake Off okay?

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Godfuckingdamnitshit,” is what rings out from the kitchen a spare moment after some sort of tin hits the floor and rattles across the tile.

Chris waits a moment, clears his throat: “You sure you don’t want help?” He calls out.

“No, Christopher. I do not want or need help. Yours or anyone else’s.”

Chris knows better to argue. He’s been locked out of the kitchen for the last two hours, ever since he came home and was immediately yelled at that he was early and had better stay out or else. So, he’s been camped out on the couch reading a book and pretending like he’s not hungry, and not curious as to what the hell is going on in there.
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Title: Surge
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: ~1,350 / G
Summary: Quite simply: a meet-cute in an UberPool

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Darren just wants to go home. Rehearsals for the reading the next week had been a bitch that day; some of the songs weren’t coming together and too many of the actors had early outs that were fucking with the schedule. There’s not much Darren can do about it though – he shows up at his call time, knows his parts, and just hopes that this reading might be the one to lead to something more.
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Title: Left With the River
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: 1,225 / PG
Summary: Three ways it can be.

AN: The quote Darren thinks about for himself is from Richard Siken’s short prose piece Black Telephone.

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*

In another life, we’re happy.

Sundays are for sleeping in. Darren has a matinee at 3pm and Chris never has meetings on the weekends.

Chris’ next book tour kicks off too soon and Darren will have to part with him for too long. He can’t follow Chris around the country like he wants to; he’s got eight shows a week and not enough time between. But he’d be happy to leave the oppressive summer heat of New York City behind for a few weeks of gallivanting around the country.
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Title: Beacon Hill(s)
Pairing: Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale
Length/Rating: 7,860 / G
Summary: Boy owns bookstore. Boy meets movie star. The rest is the rest.

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Stiles’ little travel bookshop makes no money. It’s quaint and cute and the windows are dusty in the corners and he absolutely loves his shop, but it makes no money. This is why Stiles also works as a freelance copy editor for people who manage to write books that do in fact sell.

He can keep the lights on by the mere fact that his grandparents owned the shop for 35 years and passed it down to him free and clear. Back then it was a moderately successful bakery, but while Stiles inherited a good many things from his grandparents, the ability to make bread rise and cookies crumble was not among them. He pays no rent, just the taxes and utilities, which is why he’s still there, in his little shop with groaning wooden floors and a bright blue door.
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Title: Prix Fixe
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Length/Rating: ~2,800 / G
Summary: Chris is famous, Darren is not. They meet at a restaurant. I’m great at summaries.

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Darren knows exactly who he is the moment the man walks by his table – Chris Colfer, movie star. Darren would recognize him anywhere. Tall in a blue shirt and grey tie, Chris strides by Darren’s booth without even glancing at him before taking a seat at a two-top near the back. He sits with his back to the rest of the dining room, even though it means he can’t see someone approaching him. He pulls out his cell phone while he waits and doesn’t fidget at all.
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Title: Drop It Like It’s Obvious
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Rating/Length: G / ~1,200
Summary: A belated birthday gift for Katie.

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In hindsight, Darren should have seen it coming.

Chris likes to bake and is a good hand at it, but he tends to stick to the handful of recipes he’s already proven adept at. Darren is intimately familiar with Chris’ chocolate chip cookies, his banana bread, and his pecan pie (which Darren sometimes convinces him to add bourbon to, on special occasions). There have been other attempts along the sliding spectrum of success: key lime pie, misshapen eclairs, and croissants that used up more butter than Darren had ever seen before in his life.
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Title: No Place Like Home for the Holidays
Author: @twobirdsonesong
Summary: Sometimes taking someone home for the holidays is easy as Christmas.
Ratings/Warnings: PG / such fluff
Gifted to @imsorrydidijuststutter as part of the @crisscolfergiftexchange 2017

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“I should have brought something.”

The house loomed large through the windshield, imposing despite the cheerful facade and bright winter flowers.

“Chris.”

“I should have something with me. I should have brought something. That’s what guests do. They bring things to parties.” Dread filled his stomach.

Darren shook his head. “You’re not a guest.”

“I am a guest. I’m very much a guest. They’re going to think I’m ungrateful. And rude. The worst guest.”

“They’re not.”

“I should have baked a pie,” said Chris. “I’m pretty good at baking pies. You like my pies.”

Darren nodded. “I do like your pies, but there are going to be plenty of pies here already.”

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Title: The 4th
Pairing: Chris/Darren
Summary: I dunno @alittledizzy​ tagged me so I guess I had to

Chris is on his third gin and tonic when his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. He almost misses it, with how loud the music is, vibrating across his skin.

Once he notices the call he almost misses picking it up in time, surprised as he is by the number.

Darren’s face is bright on his screen, an incoming FaceTime. Chris almost lets it go, almost just lets the buzzing finish and fade into the night. Just another missed call in a busy life. Almost.

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Hello

Dec. 3rd, 2018 08:33 pm
twobirdsonesong: (Default)
Hello, yes. Tis I. Apparently I've been holding on to this URL for god knows how long.

I'm going to work on reposting my fic here for posterity.

I'm also at Pillowfort. Same URL. As per always.
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